Do you have instances, where you are so angry with what you have been doing? And in the end, you ended up going nuts? And suddenly everything becomes clear to you? Have you been in that situation?

Jocie if you read this, I would like to say: You are not alone.

Surprisingly, that moment when you were in depressed mood, so am I.

But I got even more graphic picture. I was sitting duck, doing nothing. Then a strong provoking thought come to my mind.

Out came slashes of 4-letter words. My dad heard it. He thought I was unhappy or something.

For the first time, I think, I liked my Dad alot.

You see, he doesn't slash me with philosophy of life or whatsoever. What he did is to simply ask: You need help?

He sounded enthusiastic, that is the issue.

He doesn't sound angry. Previously, even a simple 'SHIT' or 'BASTARD' will become the household warning from Dad.

But not this time, some more it is the globally recognised word. F***

He wasn't angry or agitated. He asked me curiously.

I replied: I think, maybe I will take a walk outside and calm myself.

Well, I would have done the same regardless of his attitude. But when he curiously asked, I can see a sincerity in his mind.

So when I go out, I met with my church friends. We played badminton. And surprisingly, I could play six games straight. And I don't feel tired. After 1 year of not exercising. Can you believe it or not?

Then it occured to me. I have been critical to them maybe.

But during those process, I realised something else.

My life, the thing that I thought how meaningless my life was: I realised what has gone wrong.

My attitude.

I gotta change it.

If not, I will not be able to survive long man.

Anyway, I met with Kat to chat. She was telling me her problems with our church worship leading services. Pray to God that You anoint her and give her wisdom. She has suffered alot of politics. Let not politics interfere Your power to her Lord.

Then in the bus, I strangely chatted with a lady of 30. She looked 24. Serious.

I don't know what is going on, but the next thing, we exchange phone number. She is sweet.

Now I got friends to chio to eat outside liao. YES!!!

d i r t - r e n
10:27 PM

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