I thought alot today.

My serious problem in finding a girlfriend.

Mom told me, "It is a good time, but you don't seem to be bothered."

Aunt told me, "It is alright to find a girlfriend now."

Uncle told me, "You are a young man, right? Go find one."

Grandma told me, "Unless your girlfriend makes you cannot go concentrate in your studies, quickly go find one."

Cousin told me, "You are still single? You don't look like one."

Gary told me, "Wei, quickly find one can?"

There are times when I told them: Band, studies, church, guitar, my organisation.

But today, I realise finally, what is the major problem.

After much time of deep thinking... (I actually wanted to joke on this issue, but it is too serious an issue to talk about)

3 things. One: addiction to isolation and solitude.

You see, I have been a lone ranger since young. Everything I want to keep to myself. If I say this is inherited from my father's side, I think I will be making an excuse out of it. Even till today, I am still a lone ranger. Many things I would rather to do it alone.

Which is why I think, the reason why I don't want to find a girlfriend is because I rather be by myself.

Two: addiction to material satisfaction. Namely: Addict to Net and Music.

I can't live properly without these two. No music, I won't be able to wake up. I live every morning listening music from heavy metal music. (I set my Micro Hi-Fi as my alarm clock).

One day without connecting on the net, I will feel restless. Places I go often? Youtube. Watch MTVs. Chatting. via MSN. Erin, FuSiLiuTing, Pinkish, Jocie, Huimin, my god-sis Jiahuay

Yeah, you see the selection and you are right. All girls.

In real life - I dare not approach girls. I mean, go up to girls and woo them.

In net life - I am a wild wolf. Devour everyone.

Three: Gary, I lost it.

4 months of absence in sex and pornography, the urge is back. I don't want to elaborate.

On the psychological side, because of this, I cannot view girls properly. After my first girlfriend.

Anyway, making such reports, I think it might be better for me to return to where I am supposed to be: Soul-searching first.

Tonight I am going out for a while. Think deeply. Tomorrow working. I want to work properly.

Signing off.

Btw: Gary, how is life in Nokia? Good thing they gave you the 6680. Can I have one too?

d i r t - r e n
7:44 PM

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